Dedicated to my former manager and friend, Robyn Kindler, who sadly passed away this week after a courageous fight.
A Sunday Drive
Sunday week ago I was invited to the wedding of a very nice local expat. It was to be held on the other side of the city, so I made sure to leave in time with plenty of room to accommodate the Sunday morning Yunlong Lake traffic squeeze. My DiDi driver turned up without too much drama. I hopped in the backseat, something I’ve only started doing of late. The driver did a U-turn in front of oncoming cars with seconds to spare. Nutter. Da Xue Lu was already quite heavy with traffic. We’d driven all of 5 minutes, and I'd been daydreaming out the window when all of a sudden ‘BANG’. I was airborne for a split second before my face and head and neck stopped my torso from completely smashing into the seat in front. At the same time I let out a primal groan as I felt my already slightly stiff desk-neck absorbed the impact. The driver turned and glanced at me then got out and began conversing with the driver he’d smashed into, while other cars honked and beeped past.
With my neck feeling a lot more stiff, I wasn’t sure whether I should get out or they’d speak to me. When it was clear I’d been abandoned, I got out, my mind completely on booking another ride so I could make the wedding in time. My driver waved and smiled when I motioned I was going. I crossed back to the curb, dodging traffic, then realised I couldn’t book anything til my driver cancelled the ride. My neck now hurting even more, I angrily went back to the drivers and explained to the first one I needed his counterpart to cancel the ride. Meanwhile one of the traffic grandpas who loiter at the nearby intersection all day, had sauntered over and he and my driver were laughing at me as I was animatedly saying “zheli fei chang tong” (here it’s quite painful) while pointing to my neck. Their attitude wasn’t helping my temperament, but the ride was eventually cancelled, and then I had to wait 15 minutes for another to pick me up, given the congestion.
Thankfully, I made the wedding just in time, and it was a lovely ceremony and reception. However, I was in discomfort the whole time. Now all of the drama could have been avoided had I been wearing a seatbelt. However, I’d never worn a seatbelt in the backseat before in China, and never seen anyone either, given that traffic generally drives quite slowly and legally one does not have to. After all, half the time the backseat seatbelts are broken or absent. I think in future I’ll have to start sitting in the front seat again, because it is mandatory to wear a seatbelt. I was able to purchase anti-inflammatory tablets on the way home, although the pharmacist initially fetched me antibiotics, and my neck has somewhat subsided since then. I have no desire to be a crash test dummy again and certainly don’t recommend it, but will acknowledge being a dummy for not wearing a seatbelt in the first place!
A Nice Day For A Stroll
With the weather forecast to be a sunny 26 degrees, and with a neck that is still a bit tender when I wake up, I went to an orthopedic specialist I’d used last year, who also has that rare skill of neck-cracking to good effect. After an extremely vigorous massage by his deputy, in which my head was being stretched off my body at one point, I decided to go for a nice stroll to Honey Time Bakery & Bistro, a small local chain known for their western-style menu and brunch set. I have been a few times, and found the food passable.
Walking along the north side of Yunlong Lake, I criss-crossed through the streets, going past the long lines and crowds gathered at extremely local restaurants. I came to the Xuzhou TV Tower, and then past the scenic Yunlong Park before veering off and arriving at my destination. Of course it was a full house with people waiting outside, including two traffic police. After a few minutes I managed to also get a waiting seat and was promptly offered a cigarette by the younger of the police, but politely declined. After twenty minutes, a table was ready and I sat by the window, realising the police were using the outside seats to either rest or supervise the street construction works, or take a siesta. There was a new spring menu with colourful items, but I was in the mood for something light, and remembered the salmon avocado salad had actually been good on my last visit. I’ve never tried their pizzas, which include a ‘Margaret pizza’ and ‘durian pizza’, and saw something that had ‘black sesame dirty’ in its name. I ended up ordering eggs benedict with smoked salmon as well as a chicken taco and a cappuccino.
Identity Crisis
The cappuccino arrived first, in a large mug, just hot enough. I asked for sugar and noticed the waitress had to ask where it was. It was brought but with no stirring spoon. I remembered this happening last time as well. It tasted good, so no big deal. Next came the eggs and salmon. It was presented on a very large plate and looked quite nice. Coils of smoked salmon guarded a lettuce salad covered in a slightly sweet vinaigrette was the smoked salmon, which was not smoked enough and perhaps too salty. Two cold poached eggs to the left were drizzled with black sesame dressing, each on top of a soggy small piece of bread. The bread was soggy from the puddle of black sesame dressing they were swimming in. At least try to serve the eggs warm and with hollandaise sauce and not sesame poopoo of a vomitous hue! It would not be dissimilar to me making a random chicken soup, sticking lumps of bread around the rim of the pot and presenting it as Di Guo Ji, (地锅鸡) Xuzhou’s famous ground pot chicken. Nothing seemed to match nor be quite like they were supposed to.
Chicken Taco or Chicken Shmacko?
The chicken taco also looked presentable, but the taco shell was inevitably too thin and shattered straight away in my plastic-gloved hand. I’m unsure what flavour the chicken cubes were trying to portray, perhaps local Xuzhou barbecue? What stood out was the spice - it was laced with far too much local chilli, which lingered far too long after I’d taken the last bite. Both meals were definitely experiencing an identity crisis of sorts. As I was the only foreigner, I imagine that the other customers would be none the wiser, relishing their ‘sophisticated’ western meal.
On the plus side the coffee was one of the better ones I’ve had in Xuzhou, and was a very reasonable 22rmb, given its large size. For this reason, I’ll lift my overall score for the meal to 5/10, and that's being generous!
